i've been wondering for a long time
Am I the only one in this boat?
So, you discover a person that you really believe in. When you cross paths with that person they seem as if they are needing someone to believe in them. In fact, you even have conversations where he/she will say to you, "Wow, you've really helped me a lot and really helped me believe in myself."
You can tell this person needs to be a part of something bigger than themselves. So, you introduce them to a group of people that you know will love them and embrace them.
But then something tragic happens. The person you believed in and invested so much into starts gravitating more towards the people you introduced them to, and they seem to forget that you were the first to lay everything on the line for them.
Some people wouldn't care about that. But for those of us are naturally insecure, for those who are needing to feel appreciated, for those who are needing to know that your love doesn't go in vain, it sucks....you feel abandoned all over again. And the one thing that you want to help people overcome and lead people out of, is the trench you find yourself deep in.
posted by Mel Washington at
10:32 PM
2 Comments:
I couldn't agree more. And coincidentally, this entire last year I've had an incredibly hard time dealing with all of this. I felt so alone, all the time, while the people that became friends through me were doing stuff that I would have loved to be a part of.
But I got better. Much better. Through CBG, I began to think that we just have to trust that in some moment of our lives, we're gonna find somebody who feels the same way as this... somebody who's in the same boat.
Sorry for the excessively long comment. People tell me I write novels.
-ali.
Oh man. Totally feel you on that. I actually have a real problem in groups of 3 or more... I just clam up & get really alienated. I'm a strictly one-on-one guy. And it can be really heartbreaking for me to lose that, sometimes, by introducing someone I care about to a new circle of friends. Because I have that dependence & at first it's naturally mutual. But they'll inevitably stop leaning on me & so I sort of lose that prop. And that comfort zone. And I don't feel like I can talk to them anymore. I actually have had friends say "I can't believe you never introduced me to this person before!" But it's just a difficult thing for me to do, to let go. I can be really dependent. Which sucks. But that's just life... people are who they are at the point in life at which you catch them, whether they're really dependent or really flighty or whatever. You've just gotta cope sometimes, I guess. I've learned not to expect anyone to be anything but who they are, & not to expect them to make any choices except for the choices they make. Or at least I'm trying to. I don't want to love someone for who I think they are or for who I wish them to be. The same goes for myself.
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