faceless.lonely

who am i?

am i name?  am i person?

a lot of people know "mel washington".  but they don't know who Mel Washington is.

I am a 24 year old man.  Sometimes I feel like a 6 year old boy.

I am an adult with tons of responsibilities.  Sometimes I feel like I am the most irresponsible person in the world. 

I am a follower of Christ.  Sometimes I feel the like the vilest sinner alive.

I have been told I have good ideas.  Sometimes, my ideas are what get the best of me and cause me lifelong problems.

I have lots of good things to say.  Sometimes I sound like a fool.

I am a humble person.  Sometimes I come across arrogant.

I am a confident person.  Sometimes I'm the most insecure person you'll meet.

I have lots of friends.  1,047 according to Facebook.   1564 according to my phone.  But some nights, when I pillow my head, according to my heart, zero.

I have a family.  Sometimes I feel like an orphan.

I have name. But nothing more than a name.

I have no heart.  I am faceless.

faceless.memories

This will be a rough day for me.  

This date is full of terrible memories.

But those memories remind me of where God has brought me from.

It doesn't make the pain go away.  

But, God will bring me peace today.  

I'm sure.

Wrote a song about this day 2 years ago.  Released on an electronica album called ".red" and am getting ready to release it on "faceless".

Here are the words, 

     

     Could it be that I was the one

     Who hurt your daughters and your sons

     I'm ashamed of the pain I've caused

     And now its running back to me

    Could it be that You were the One

    Who showed Your mercy to Your son

     You're not ashamed of all I've done

     And now You're running after me

So, I'm making decisions today to try my best to be optimistic, to let God bring me some sort of peace and rest in today.

My friend, Nick, wrote a song called Voices, and I'm making its words my anthem for the day.

     I am satisfied 

     with what the world brings

     And I have my mind

     To make my bed inside 

     Peace