on.the.road.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend the other night.

We were doing an overnight drive from Russellville, AR to Topeka, KS.

My friend was telling me about how his life seemed uncertain.

I gave him some advice that my friend, Andy, gave me some time ago.

"It's all about faith."

I told him that I was somewhere in the Ozarks of Arkansas and really didn't know where and that somewhere ahead of me was Topeka. I didn't know where exactly it was, but it was somewhere ahead of me. It's all about faith and trust.

As much uncertainty is ahead of us in our lives, somehow we must discover to keep faith and trust that we'll make it - whatever our destination is.

and i am complete

Tour season is always trying for me. I'm always wondering how the shows are going to go, if our van and trailer are gonna make it there safely, if our band is going to make enough money to sustain itself, if we're going to be able to eat that day, if I'm going to run out of personal money, if someone in the band is going to get sick, if someone back home is going to get ill or even die. I also begin to miss my friends, my family, my loved ones, everyone back home.

And then there are those moments where I realize that I am a very blessed individual to have what I have and to do what I do. My job sometimes brings a heavy workload, but I am privileged to travel the country and meet some really cool people who sometimes have a huge impact on my life. This current tour has been just that for me. I've had interactions with people in every city that we've been in that I've walked away with some very deep impressions. From an amazing send off dinner with our friends in Macon, GA after a packed afternoon acoustic show to a late night conversation and listening to Dane Cook with my friend, Andy, in Atlanta, to an amazing time with my friend Steven and his girlfriend Emily after our Douglasville show, to seeing an old friend that I'm very concerned about in Columbus, to awesome bro time with some friends in Jackson, MS, to a talk with a really cool worship leader on a porch in Shreveport, LA at 5:00am, to great talks with my good friend and our merch guy on a balcony in Plano, TX, to meeting some really appreciative fans outside of our Ft. Worth, TX show, to meeting some of the coolest, most genuine people, and even a very 'stoned neighbor' who had some very thought-provoking, interesting, life-changing things to say in Abilene, TX to a conversation with a drunk cowboy in Midland, TX, to a conversation outside of our venue in Waco, TX with some folks in the opening band, to porchside conversations with our good friend Alex in Waxahachie or something that someone says as encouragement at our Dallas, TX show, all of these things have given me a new found appreciation for touring.

Sure, I find it intriguing that people actually pay money to come and see us play. And I'm giving it 100% every night. But, at the same time, I'm fully aware that some of the folks I will never talk to, and its those that I do and the interactions that I have with them that stretch far beyond any experience I can ever ask for in this life.

Some of these conversations have really made me think deeply about a lot of things in my life. And as my friend, Max, and I were talking about earlier today, I am finally feeling comfortable with who I am as a person. And, I'm so thankful that God has brought the people into my life that He has, that He has allowed me to come in contact with some amazingly beautiful people, all over this country.

I feel like the rest of this tour is going to be great. Bed now? Maybe. I'm thirsty.

~m

lent.day 3.sanai

In Exodus 19, God brings the children of Israel to a mountain called Sanai.

Its this place where they camp out for a little bit.  Moses, their leader, goes to the mountain top to talk with God.

God speaks to Moses and gives him direction for the children of Israel.  But more than direction, He gives them a calling.  He tells Moses to the tell the people to be for Him, a royal priesthood, a holy nation.  In essence,  its as if God gives them a mission, a calling that day.

The interest thing is that they haven't arrived at this point (to the Promised Land).

God gives a CALLING to a group of people who are being brought out of bondage but haven't reached the Promised Land yet.  I was reminded of that today.  I feel like I'm at a place of Sanai over the past couple of days.  I definitely haven't arrived.  But I feel like I'm receiving a new calling with my life.  Maybe I'll write more about it later. Eh?

lent.reflections.questions

And here's another question:

Do I really look like T-Pain?

lent.reflections.my world

I'm having a conversation with a friend right now on Facebook chat and he says these words, "My faith has been reduced to some form of soup in the past year.  Not anything concrete by any means. But still there.  And a part of me wants to pour the bowl out."

This is completely unnerving for me.  I'm not sure how to deal with this.  Because when I hear that question, my mind races in thousands of directions.  I want to start asking questions like, "when?", "why?", "how?".   All questions whose answers will lead to other questions.

Everything my friend said in that paragraph was preceded by him telling me about all of the death that he's seeing so close to him.  It affects his friends and the people connected to them, which in turn affects him and the people connected to him.  It's like his whole world is being turned upside down and he says, "It just makes you question the world and God when things like this happen."

But what is even more unnerving for me is that just moments before this, I was watching this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4NlyZqJhwk&feature=channel_page

Which of course had me questioning everything about MY world.

My reflections this evening in this season of Lent: my world - how do I interact with it?

faceless.pause

I had a really cool opportunity to speak to some folks this morning at a gathering in Beaumont, TX.

Talked to them about my life.  How I've been realizing how God has brought me out of some sort of Egypt [a place of bondage], just as He did the Children of Israel.   He has brought me into a wilderness [and oh it feels like that more times than not]. But,  I must acknowledge that He has given me manna for every day.  

I'm learning what my manna is.  I'm learning that God has given me strong friends, family, communities, co-workers, to help get me through the season of life that I've come into.

I have no clue how God works it all out, but He does.  He gives a dirty, dirty person like me, manna every day.  I have these moments where God is whispering to me saying, "Hey, I'm taking care of you."

I have to take a moment of pause.  Look at my manna, thank God for my manna, and share my manna with those around me if need be.

faceless.learning

It's 4:30 am.  I'm sitting in a hotel in Raleigh, NC.  

Got done replying to many emails and taking many phone calls after a very late show at The Brewery here in Raleigh, which ironically doesn't brew beer.  Just your normal, run of the mill music venue.  

I'm learning a lot right now -- about my friends, about my life, about my job, about my world, about my God.  

It's difficult to digest it all at one time.  Somewhat overwhelming.

I'm learning to become more and more understanding of the world around me, the world I live in, and it's beautiful.

Tomorrow will be full of many lessons I'm sure.  

Excited about seeing the ocean for the first time in a while.

faceless.lonely

who am i?

am i name?  am i person?

a lot of people know "mel washington".  but they don't know who Mel Washington is.

I am a 24 year old man.  Sometimes I feel like a 6 year old boy.

I am an adult with tons of responsibilities.  Sometimes I feel like I am the most irresponsible person in the world. 

I am a follower of Christ.  Sometimes I feel the like the vilest sinner alive.

I have been told I have good ideas.  Sometimes, my ideas are what get the best of me and cause me lifelong problems.

I have lots of good things to say.  Sometimes I sound like a fool.

I am a humble person.  Sometimes I come across arrogant.

I am a confident person.  Sometimes I'm the most insecure person you'll meet.

I have lots of friends.  1,047 according to Facebook.   1564 according to my phone.  But some nights, when I pillow my head, according to my heart, zero.

I have a family.  Sometimes I feel like an orphan.

I have name. But nothing more than a name.

I have no heart.  I am faceless.